You’re in a rut, and can’t pull yourself out, end of a love affair, marriage, loss, or job going nowhere fast. Get out of your comfort zone, toss out your excuses and get moving! Solo travel can be a unique experience or downright frightening. What is the appeal of travelling alone? Ask yourself, before you throw on your back pack; do I have the maturity and personality of a lone traveler?
Travelling independently can be liberating, you will discover a newfound freedom and self-awareness and perhaps re-visit who you really are, but there will be hurdles. The great thing is …you don’t know what could happen in the unfolding moments, but that in itself is boundless.
Looking for inspiration? Some countries make it easy to travel solo, you’ll never feel alone in New York, so much to see and do; the subways are user friendly as are the locals. Australia and New Zealand are perfect destinations for loners, as is Asia. Lone travelers learn to connect to each other and lean on each other for information. As with any big adventure in any city, when you don’t have anyone watching your back, you have to rely on your gut instincts.
A few rules for the road:
- Be alert to self-care… practice hotel safety and keep documents safe.
- Follow your instincts… If something doesn’t feel right, get out of there fast…it’s not worth having regrets.
- Use your common sense… Arrive in daylight hours and always book the first nights’ accommodation.
- Dress appropriately, especially if you are a woman, respect the local customs and culture of the country.
Don’t make the mistake of dressing exactly like the locals; from experience I know it only attracts more attention. While in India I thought I could get away with dressing in the traditional Salwar Kameez, while it was extremely comfortable to travel in, the local Romeos thought I was on the lookout for an Indian lover, it was hard to thwart their unwanted advances. On that note I have found stony silence and avoiding eye contact usually does the trick, if all else fails, get up and move!
Having said all that… be brave and open to whatever may happen, talk to strangers, smile a lot, eat in lively places and avoid anywhere overly romantic, it’s hard to stare at the single rose and tablecloth all evening, there is nothing worse than having the wandering minstrels serenade you while you are by yourself! I eat in places that have a communal feel and always take along my creative writing material or a book, but most of the time I end up connecting to another lone traveler, or eavesdrop and people watch…two of my favourite pastimes!
In certain countries, dining alone does throw up a few challenges, especially if you don’t speak the language. In Japan I was determined to eat in authentic Japanese restaurants, even though McDonalds would have been a cheaper and less challenging option. I bravely parted that quaint pennant –like curtain, took a deep breath, ignored the bemused stares of the local salary men, and took a table for one, by the window. Of course, I couldn’t read a word of the menu, but not to be daunted I pointed to the nearest bento box at the table next to me, and said, “I’ll have what he’s having.” Okay, so what if I ended up with a stein of beer and the best eel and sea urchin I have ever tasted, but I did it and it felt liberating!
Let go of all your expectations, scale that mountain and look back and enjoy the view, you never know, you just might embrace a new- found solitude or open up to an unplanned meeting of a lifetime…what are you waiting for?
If you still cringe at the thought of offending someone, think of how widespread bargaining is, Asians love to bargain, it’s in the DNA. It’s no fun if you accept the first price they give you; they will think you are crazy, stupid, or both if you don’t try to beat them down. To be fair, you and the vendor are trying to agree on an acceptable price, you don’t want him to lose face, and believe it or not, not all hawkers are out to cheat you… however, they are all out to get rich!
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In a way I guess I’m selfish, I believe in good Karma, do good and it comes back to you, but it can backfire and once you start giving where do you stop? In many ways we are to blame for the dangerous cycle of begging. Indiscriminate giving of money to beggars has no long term benefits, the money you give is no more than a drop in the ocean of a nations suffering.
In Europe the beggars are more cunning, we once had a horrific experience in Madrid with a couple of female gypsies, who would not take no for an answer. They attacked my companion jumping on his back scratching and clawing at him. He tried to shake them off and took refuge in a tapas bar, but to our horror the entire clientele turned their backs on our plight. The women shouted and cursed, we still to this day do not know what they accused us of, but years later we still refer to the incident as the Gypsies Curse. This is the sort of thing that can taint a holiday if you let it, the same in India, the minute you give to one you will be surrounded by thousands, read Slumdog Millionaire or Rohinton Mistry’s beautiful book, A Fine Balance. Begging in India is a profitable industry, it was within the pages of Mistry’s book I first came across the dreaded Beggarmaster a sort of pimp for beggars, and as a result I never give money in India.
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